Names in the Key of X

The worst X-Men names you'll never see in print

Warning: Weird humor alert. This is one of the articles where I've fallen of the deep end.

I was joking with a friend, a fellow UNIX programmer about the "X" prefix in anything graphic on our Unix platform - xemacs, xeyes and even xsokoban. One thing led to another, and soon we were making fun of Marvel Comics' X-titles, and their tendency to have an X in most of their names. Presented here is the outcome of a very late night with way too much caffeine and sugar and far too little hours of sleep - a list of all the worst X-Men character concepts you'll never see in a Marvel comic book. I've attempted to write these characters up, and you can see the ones I did at The Unlikely X-Men project in the Hall of Characters.

• X-Alt - A mutant with the power to increase the powers of other mutants.
• X-Cavate - A mutant with the elemental power of Earth-control.
• X-Cel - A genetically engineered perfect being. The team leader.
• X-Pand - A mutant with the ability to change his size, a-la Maul.
• X-Pel - A mutant with the ability to telekinetically force others away.
• X-Plode - A pyrokinetic mutant.
• X-Plore - A mutant with various enhances senses.
• X-Port - A mutant with the ability of teleportation.
• X-Press - A speedster mutant.
• X-Quisite - An empathic mutant who is simply irresistible.
• X-Tend - A mutant with the ability to stretch his body parts, a-la Mr. Fantastic.
• X-Terior - A mutant with armored skin, a-la Colossus.
• X-Tinct - A dinosaur-like mutant.
• X-Tinguish - A mutant that can absorb heat and light, and manipulate the cold it creates.
• X-Travaganza - A swashbuckling and flamboyant mutant.

A few more names we came up with just didn't make the cut of getting written up as Unlikely X-Men, for various reasons. These names are presented in the following list, which we like to call The Unlikely Rejects.

• X-Cellent - Too similar to X-Cel.
• X-Cimer - The original concept was of twin mutants who share the same power - the stronger one gets, the weaker the other. Didn't fit in with the story-line.
• X-Crament - Too disgusting to consider.
• X-Ile - The original concept was of an alien exiled to Earth. It was rejected since it wasn't a mutant concept.
• X-O - Sounds too similar to Valiant Comics' X-O Manowar.
• X-Odos - The original concept was of an ancient mutant on a lifelong quest. Eventually, it didn't fit in with the rest of the group, so I dropped it.
• X-Ploit - Not a very heroic concept...
• X-Ray - An existing Marvel Comics villain, James Darnel.
• X-Ternal - Too similar to the short lived Marvel Comics title "Gambit and the X-Ternals"
• X-Tropian - The original concept was of a person that improved his body by various implants and drugs. It was rejected because it wasn't a mutant concept.
• X-Strophy - The original concept was of a highly deformed mutant. Eventually, it just didn't fit in with the rest of the group.

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Image by Joseph Barnhard