Names in the Key of X

The worst X-Men names you’ll never see in print

Warning: Weird humor alert. This is one of the articles where I’ve fallen of the deep end.

I was joking with a friend, a fellow UNIX programmer about the “X” prefix in anything graphic on our Unix platform – xemacs, xeyes and even xsokoban. One thing led to another, and soon we were making fun of Marvel Comics’ X-titles, and their tendency to have an X in most of their names. Presented here is the outcome of a very late night with way too much caffeine and sugar and far too little hours of sleep – a list of all the worst X-Men character concepts you’ll never see in a Marvel comic book. I’ve attempted to write these characters up, and you can see the ones I did at The Unlikely X-Men project in the Hall of Characters

  • X-Alt – A mutant with the power to increase the powers of other mutants.
  • X-Cavate – A mutant with the elemental power of Earth-control.
  • X-Cel – A genetically engineered perfect being. The team leader.
  • X-Pand – A mutant with the ability to change his size, a-la Maul.
  • X-Pel – A mutant with the ability to telekinetically force others away.
  • X-Plode – A pyrokinetic mutant.
  • X-Plore – A mutant with various enhances senses.
  • X-Port – A mutant with the ability of teleportation.
  • X-Press – A speedster mutant.
  • X-Quisite – An empathic mutant who is simply irresistible.
  • X-Tend – A mutant with the ability to stretch his body parts, a-la Mr. Fantastic.
  • X-Terior – A mutant with armored skin, a-la Colossus.
  • X-Tinct – A dinosaur-like mutant.
  • X-Tinguish – A mutant that can absorb heat and light, and manipulate the cold it creates.
  • X-Travaganza – A swashbuckling and flamboyant mutant.

A few more names we came up with just didn’t make the cut of getting written up as Unlikely X-Men, for various reasons. These names are presented in the following list, which we like to call The Unlikely Rejects.

  • X-Cellent – Too similar to X-Cel.
  • X-Cimer – The original concept was of twin mutants who share the same power – the stronger one gets, the weaker the other. Didn’t fit in with the story-line.
  • X-Crament – Too disgusting to consider.
  • X-Ile – The original concept was of an alien exiled to Earth. It was rejected since it wasn’t a mutant concept.
  • X-O – Sounds too similar to Valiant Comics’ X-O Manowar.
  • X-Odos – The original concept was of an ancient mutant on a lifelong quest. Eventually, it didn’t fit in with the rest of the group, so I dropped it.
  • X-Ploit – Not a very heroic concept…
  • X-Ray – An existing Marvel Comics villain, James Darnel.
  • X-Ternal – Too similar to the short lived Marvel Comics title “Gambit and the X-Ternals”
  • X-Tropian – The original concept was of a person that improved his body by various implants and drugs. It was rejected because it wasn’t a mutant concept.
  • X-Strophy – The original concept was of a highly deformed mutant. Eventually, it just didn’t fit in with the rest of the group.